a man walked into a bar and said ow

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

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apple pie.

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Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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Do you want to hear a knock knock joke? (Yes) Okay, you start. (Knock knock). Who's there? ...

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a retard? NOTHING!!!!!!

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Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

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the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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