RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

thumb_up thumb_down +25

a man killed wife. he successfully rid the scene of all evidence and buried the body under a bridge. unfortunately he forgot to bury the head and went to jail for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

thumb_up thumb_down +19

-Whats worse than a joke with no punch line? -What?...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's gay and gay? Joe

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I Love Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops