When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

Why did the white supremacist stab the black man? He believed his race to be superior to that of the black man, thus he resorted to violence in order to display his supremacy.

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

I'm Spartacus

How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

who farted i did :]

Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

What's long brown and sticky? S**t

What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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