Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

How old are you? 7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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