A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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My friend came in the barber's shop and asked me to cut his hair for him, i always have rude banter with him and i made a joke about his big bate nose. He acused me of calling him Jewish and threatened to sue me. This is how i found out that he was a white supremisist.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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Why did Steve Jobs step down as CEO of Apple? Because he died.

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what's black and can't swim? a black refrigerator

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

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Your Mom The End.

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TOP KEK

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops