Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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I remember in the 80's it felt like Bill Cosby was being shoved down my throat. He was always on TV with his show and those Jello commercials.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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whats worse then finding a bad antijoke on this site? finding a real joke on this site

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What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

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Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. The boss gives him more and more work and less pay. The man finely gets fed up, beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later speculated that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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