What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he was badly burnt in a house fire.

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What did the panda say to the other panda? We are fuzzy Oreos

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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this website is a bad joke

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Why did the boy play Xbox? Because its a quality source of entertainment

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What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

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Abe Lincholn had a son, But he died

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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A black man and a white man are in a car. Which one is driving? A person who is legally allowed and physically capable of operating and automobile.

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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why was the asian women such a bad driver? she was blind and had no arms

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Are you going to just stand there and watch me burn for i am on fire? Well that is fine because the sensation feels so fantastic. You are going to just stand there and listen to me whine the night away. It is quite okie-dokie for I really love your art of lying! To be certain, I love it very much! I can not find myself telling you what really occurred, I can only explain to you the sensation i felt from this moment. For I have a dagger in my trachea. For the number of days where the do not's fell like the actually do's. I will be very happy :). But where are you trying to walk away from. Than she told me she was leaving. I said no you very certainly are not! Megan Lady-who-sleeps-with-many-men (aka Whore) Fox. We find ourselves back on the day we met...... etc etc, lot's of pissed off Rapper vs. the English language. Than more words fly out of the mouth of the woman that said she "just wanted a hit" than got slapped around the ear by her ex. It is a pointless song. Today's youth is hopeless. (just kidding i love Eminem stay infinite for life)

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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