Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

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Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a hot tub. One polar bear asks the other to pass the soap. The other responds, "No soap, radio!"

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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Meanwhile in Josh and Dannys apartment....(Danny: I'm finally gonna play amnesia! Josh: You'll die Danny: No I won't Josh: Fine tell me when your done Danny: Ok Josh: Cya 3 Hours later Danny has been stuck in a part. Of the game because he was scared to leave that spot. He builds up the courage to leave there. He sees the monster screams Josh hears runs in the room his character died in the game as Danny has a violent seizure and dies. Josh mourns the death of his friend for years.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

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Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

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In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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