Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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What is 9+10? 19

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

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Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Hitler walks into a temple..... Oh wait he died

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how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

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Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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what's black and can't swim? a black refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops