Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Sir, your wife is dead

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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say it ten times fast: oh

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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wow, that guy is such a buzz-kill. worse than Buzz Killington!

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How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops