What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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