WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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BBW BABY IS THE BEST BETTER THAN THE REST WELL EXCEPT MILF BABY. SUBSCRIBE TO BigHDGuns

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops