Andrew Wang getting a girlfriend.

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What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

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why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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Female Athletics

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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