Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops