why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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What is better than life? Nothing.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

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How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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-Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The pest control guy. -Please leave me alone I'm giving birth.

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Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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What is the difference between Joe Paterno and Coach Sundusky? Nothing. They are both terrible human beings and should thoroughly punished for their actions/inactions and should serve time in prison.

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oh my god! what? i heard this joke the other day and it was hilarious. ok, tell me? actually it doesn't matter i can't remember anyway.

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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