What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

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What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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Warning: Legit Joke Below What is the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? Only one can raise a child.

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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#IHateHashtags

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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Why was there a red chicken? He tried crossing the road.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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