They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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Three men are facing a firing squad. They are all promptly executed. Even if they were to escape by distracting the executioners, they would no doubt be shot down before they could get for.

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Howdy stranger.... It is time for you to join! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! Moral: "HEY YOU! STFU! STFU! STFU! STFU!"

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

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How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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how do you upset a black guy kill his family :)

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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