Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

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A man walks into a bar, drinks, then leaves the bar.

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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Terry's penis oh wait! what penis But I'm not a rapper

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What do you call four black people in a car? A family road trip.

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Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

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what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

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A women left the kitchen.

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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You know what they say about people with big feet? Big shoes.

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Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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