Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Mom says my name I reply Coming.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

thumb_up thumb_down -11

OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do you get an A in a class? idk never got on.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Communism hehe xd

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops