A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

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I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

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How many nipples are on a raccoon ? I don't raccoono

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

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woman's lacrosse

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Massie is a fatass

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She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

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How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

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What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

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roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems don't make sense, Salad.

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Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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