Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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why are black people so good at sports? hard work and dedication

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

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What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

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what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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I named my son ps2 controller

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops