Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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When Glenn looks in the mirror all he sees is Nicole Sipes.

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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Hitler walks into a temple..... Oh wait he died

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What is 9+10? 19

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

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Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops