What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

So a seal walks into a club...

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

how do you own a ginger? you don't nobody wants them.

Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a skank.

-Whats worse than a joke with no punch line? -What?...

Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

Jews who wear penny loafers...

Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

I got shot, you laughed

Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

What's worse then Obama? Nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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