Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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I AM DISSAPOINTED

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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dildo

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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