If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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here's a joke... the american education society

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? Friends

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how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops