What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

thumb_up thumb_down +25

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

thumb_up thumb_down +25

i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

thumb_up thumb_down +25

If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops