You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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Where does the Queen of England live? England.

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A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

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why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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If the joke below mine says something about a mom its from adam he sucks ...

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

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What was Dillon's old name? Dillon, I lied about the old name part.

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read this sentence again.

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what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

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Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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