why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Women's Rights

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops