If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

Where did the AIDS victim go on vacation? To the hospital.

A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

Betty White's wrinkly ass skin.

yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

Why couldn't little Billy fall asleep. Because Billy didn't have any counting skills to be able to coins sheep

What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

Q. Why did Justin Beiber fall off the ladder? A. He was trying to reach puberty

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

AHLTFKCITAWKSHTC

Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

knock knock who's there your moms dead im sorry

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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