- Anti Joke

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

-5

Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

-5

Click "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

-5

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

-5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

-5

What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

-5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

-5

What did little John get for his birthday? No sort of disease or illness of any kind because he was in perfect health. He also got an Xbox.

-5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

What do you call a man with a horse? A man

What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

Click "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

What did little John get for his birthday? No sort of disease or illness of any kind because he was in perfect health. He also got an Xbox.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

What do you call a man with a horse? A man

What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

What did little John get for his birthday? No sort of disease or illness of any kind because he was in perfect health. He also got an Xbox.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Click "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]