Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than watching 5 homeless men have an orgy? Waking up and having to clean the sheets

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the arm-less Ben fall off the swing? Gravity

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to the house that was made without concrete? It fell over.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the boy die? because he got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops