I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

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wanna here a joke? you.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

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chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

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What do you call a really bad band? Nickelback.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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A black guy pulls into a KFC drive thru and orders some chicken. The cashier tells him that they are out of chicken, so the black goes to McDonald's instead.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't get back up? She had no legs.

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What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

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What's Pink And Wet? A chewed up piece of Bubble gum.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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