knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

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A Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you two have to drink?" The Christian says "I'll have a beer." and get this, the Jew says................................"I'll have a beer too."

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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Gay rights

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What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

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am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

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Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why is Travis so hilarious? ....Trick question hes not.

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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