sorry got to poo

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What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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-I thought the lesson had started? -It has

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

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what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops