How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

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How old are you? 7

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Whats worse than a joke? This

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Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops