So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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hi michael

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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I have a really funny joke.

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Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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