How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

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Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a double whiskey. The bar man says "what's with the long face"? The horse replies "My wife left me, took the kids with her, took everything, I'm devastated"

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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What's the point of going to college? There is none.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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Roses are car Violets are giraffe this poem makes no sense microwave

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock. Knock. Whos there? Not Sarah.

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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Why did the fat guy ride his camel to the grocery store? Because he didn't want to walk to the grocery store

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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