A child is in class. He really has to go to the bathroom. The teacher tells him if he can recite the alphabet, he can go to the bathroom. The kid holds his breath and goes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The teacher tells him good job and allows him to go to the bathroom. When the kid got there there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy. when the teacher noticed the boy was gone for a long time, he went to check on him. When the teacher saw the dead naked body of the boy hanging from the ceiling, he shot himself. The teacher had a family of a wife and 3 sons. The principal of the school had to call the Wife and let her know about the tragedy. The principal also thought this would be a good time to tell the wife that her husband has been having a homosexual affair with him. The wife takes her three sons and drives off a bridge. They all die minus one son (age 14) who had to grow up on the street with other homeless men. He became addicted to crack and when he ran out of places to get money from he decided to rob his old home. He broke into the house and didn't know that a new family has moved in, a married couple and their 1 year old baby. He doesn't want to go to jail, so he kills the baby, spreads the blood all over the parents, ties the dad up and makes him watch his wife get raped, then he shoots the parents before putting the gun on himself. A police officer who responded to the scene had a heart condition and the scene of the crime caused him to have a heart attack. But, he got to the hospital in time and lived.

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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a black guy walks into a black bar

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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Whats the difference between Obama and Hitler? One is the President of the United States The other is a fascist dictator that killed millions.

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how many black men did it take to steal from the whitehouse? Obama.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

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Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a trash can? -Finding a dead baby in 5 trash cans

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Tyler Bishop is a waffle

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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