What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

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The Mets win the World Series

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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What was wrong with the tree? Nothing

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

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What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

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Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

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Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops