I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

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what do u call a black person a black person dehh

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

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what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

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women's rights

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What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

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French people.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Women's Rights...

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

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What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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Knock knock

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Roses are red Violets are blue

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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