What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken?

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What do you call a black prostetut with braces. A black and decker pecker wrecker

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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YOLO

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops