Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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What do you call the white woman who bought kool-aid for a black man. a good friend.

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Cause violence is against the law

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Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

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Ha! You're so gay that I respect the sexuality you were born with and I feel completely comfortable with, and happy for, you and your preferences.

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At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

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God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

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Holy Fish Sticks Batman! Batman and Robin were at a church and saw a priest eating fish sticks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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