What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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