Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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what is big round and fat? Your MOM

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Dead girls can't say no.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead black person? There aren't 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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Doctor! I have no problems at all! So, uh why are you here? Isnt that freaking weird? Wow, that might be a problem! Puh! I have a problem then. Yeah, goodbye!

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What do you get when you post the same thing a million times? Hate

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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