i like turtles

The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

I don't drink. I'm not 21.

2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

Mom, how do you make babies? When a daddy and mommy love each other very much... They play with trains and tunnels!(Yay!)

Knock knock, Who's there Why did the chicken cross the road? Idiot.

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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