Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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if ruddel jumped on your back what do you do leave him on or pull him offf? shoot him.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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what did one elephant say to the other one? nothing silly elepehants dont talk

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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your momma's so ugly that she currently deals with an overwhelmingly self consciousness view of her appearance to the point where she has contemplated suicide and it is in your best interest to seek her medical help in order to preserve her heath and overall well being.

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A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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