How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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Women's Rights

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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dyslexics of the world untie!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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why did radio not get the song? beacause he radio didnt work.

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Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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A sober Irish individual.

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A black guy , a white guy and a jew walk into a resturaunt They are offered the special.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops