So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

run farther?

Hey

Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...