An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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