What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

thumb_up thumb_down -3

if ruddel jumped on your back what do you do leave him on or pull him offf? shoot him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a computer running Windows DOS? Obselete

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the fat black man do? Get a gym membership.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

thumb_up thumb_down -3

justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops