A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

Lololol

what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

Alchohol.

What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...